Disconnect to Connect

In the year of the pandemic, the entire world went into lockdown but one thing was up and running, i.e. Virtual world. More than ever people were online and available.

A few days back I had a conversation with a couple of my friends.

Ambica: Hey Cersei, what's up? 
Cersei Lannister: I am taking a tour on Instagram.  

Meanwhile in another chat at another time.

Ambica: Hello, what are you doing? 
Arya Stark:  Scrolling through Instagram and tracking Cersei's whereabouts. 

Please note: The above names of my friends have been replaced with fictional Game of Thrones characters to conceal their identity and of course for fun. (FYI: I do have real friends)

Getting back to analysing the replies, I mostly hear people mentioning that they are occupied on some social media applications these days (Including me :P).

Last week some time while making Chai, I happened to have clicked my "Screen time" from Settings. iOS has this feature called Screen time where you see exactly how much time you spent on your phone (too much :p). Some intimidating graphs and bars, indicating your weekly reports and how it contributes to your average usage (way too much) and on what platforms (definitely some dumb apps). I was in complete shock.

I have my data handy, let me add a screenshot for you to view and for some of you to feel considerably better as you did not waste as much time as I did :)

(11-18th April)

The average screen time for the week is mind boggling. Instagram (14 hours and 37 mins) that week followed by WhatsApp(9 hours and 53 minutes) makes a total of 24 hours 30 mins only on two applications.

I hope this is not too much mathematics/information for you if it is then know that I am only attempting to say a significant amount of my time was spent on these applications.

Now that we have looked at my screen time. I want you to hold it right here, go to your Settings and check for your Screen time on iOS/Digital Wellbeing and parental controls on Android (Please do it, I want to feel comforted that I am not alone in this)

After these amazing numbers were thrown at me with such precise data. I began to wonder why I was always BUSY! (My Phone: Do you not see it already, lady?)

I wanted to do something about this because it is not just about the precious time getting spent on scrolling the never-ending feed/reels (Do these ever stop?) It was a matter of mental well-being as well. I was suffering from what I would like to coin as

"Instagram addiction (before) + depression (after)"

I went ahead and uninstalled it (It is funny how it took a lot of guts to do it). Guess what I lasted a whole day without it (Kudos to my willpower?) I started to get these withdrawal symptoms like an addict. Well, I knew it was not working. I went on a mission to try and test a few tactics to tackle it.

Let's first categorize the addiction levels:

1. Highly addicted: The one who spends hours and hours on social media without their knowledge. Cannot do without checking the application. It becomes your default habit (just like brushing your teeth)

2. Moderate addiction: The one who spends a couple of minutes to an hour checking in. Accidently, spending hours on some days (weekends :p). The one who gets minor triggers by looking at some posts.

3. Low addiction: The one who spends 0 to no time on social media unless there is a cute girl/handsome guy they want to talk to.

Addiction after effects of 1 (high) and 2 (moderate): Getting mentally drained, feeling lethargic. Sometimes you may feel extremely depressed looking at someone else's polished life (note that this is never intentional, it is your subconscious talking).

“One should be careful not to buy into the notion that someone else's life is somehow more complete or fulfilling than yours based solely on what you see online.”

Rushing for that dopamine hit every once in a while because someone liked or commented on your post. The reason why we are so compelled by it is because we evolved to be distractible. We evolved to love tapping on stories and scrolling feeds. We evolved to seek social validation and receive compliments. We love a good gossip and laugh (Heavy dose of memes) All of this kept us hunting and wanting for more.

Addiction after effects of 3 (low) : There are no after effects here. You are Superhumans, and One day I wish to be a part of your cool gang :p

Suggested solutions (Be the boss of your phone!):

- For highly addicted and moderately addicted category or say anyone else.

The best way to defeat distraction is to make it harder to react. It is all about creating a little inconvenience. You do not have to use social media because everyone else is using it. I see this as an opportunity to stand out and make your mark. I read this in a book (Make Time) I am currently reading

If you want control, you have to redesign your own relationship with technology.

• Uninstall the application (too harsh already?): If you think this would help and you strongly want to then great, please go ahead and do it (Know that I would be super proud of you). Alternatively, you can also try a digital detox for a few hours or days or months.

Caution : This may not work for some of you (I failed miserably).But that is okay.

• Put a limit to it: Tell your phone that enough is enough, Add a limit of 30 mins or whatever amount of time you are okay with indulging in for each day. After it is exceeded it will notify you. This right here is your real test, DO NOT dismiss and go back to checking it again (just don't :P).

• Block the application: After the time limit exceeds, let your system block the application for you until tomorrow. This might get you hot and bothered if you are a control freak like me.

• Turn off the notifications: By turning off your phone notifications, you will teach your phone some manners. You hold that power to transform it from a useless chatter-box into a polite message bearer. This works in reducing the time to a great extent. As for me it sure delayed my response to messages I get. But I would still open Instagram as second nature and slide down and refresh (guilty much!)

Feel free to try out any of the above options individually or in combination and find your sweet spot. Some of the above options sure made me uncomfortable. (very personal opinion and experience)

What helped me was limiting the usage and being mindful about how much time I was spending and what time of the day. That simple? No.

Being conscious makes a difference. I stopped checking my phone first thing in the morning or last thing before bed. When I am lousing around in the afternoon feeling drowsy that it when I give it the attention it craves. That is when I visit Instagram and laugh at some amazing memes my friends send me (it also helps with shush-ing the sleep away). I make sure this visit is kept short and I log out right after. This by far has worked wonders for me.

"logout, shutdown, do yoga, drink wine (or not)!"

The reason why social media applications were primarily created, was to be able to connect and share good moments from your life. When used the right way it can do miracles.

I understand, we do not want to be stuck in the FOMO (millennial slang for fear of missing out) Hence I would not recommend cutting yourself from it. I am suggesting you to be mindful about how you are nourishing your brain and what influence it has on your mental state. Make sure you’re also HAPPY in Real Life and NOT just on Social Media :)

I would like to close by a question for you to think on (Read on Goodreads)

“What is it that is so interesting about what's happening everywhere else but where you are?”

See you next Monday. Until then Mask up, Stay Safe, and Stay Healthy.