How to develop lasting habits and turn them into routine

I have been a sucker for a routine for as long as I can remember. I follow a lot of YouTubers who speak about how implanting one habit has changed their life. I used to get inspired by the talk and make shiny promises at the start of the year to read each day, meditate every morning, journal every night and workout (enormous list of things).

Guess what? I would start at the start of the month and give up even before reaching mid-way through the month. It was a real struggle to keep up. I was failing miserably at multiple habits a multiple times. All this made me wonder, What is so difficult in this? Why do we give up so comfortably within a few days?

After analyzing and reflecting, I have noted down what went wrong in my habit development journey along with what worked in getting over each one of them.

1. Fall in motivation: The motivation level remained very high in the first few days, it starts to deteriorate as time passes by. Excuses that I came up with, I could not read each day because the book did not seem interesting enough. I had a long day at work, which got me too tired to do anything.

What worked: Keep it easy, breezy and small. I started with reading 10 pages a day. Even if I was too tired, ten pages did not seem like a big commitment. If we do a little maths here, 10 (pages) * 30 (days) = 300 pages in one month. A book is roughly about 250-300 pages on average. It would mean that one would read one book a month, accounting for 12 books in one year (Magic of 10 pages per day). Gradually when I was able to reinforce this habit, I increased the intensity (I read five to six times more than that now).

If you pick the right small behavior and sequence it right, then you won’t have to motivate yourself to have it grow. It will just happen naturally, like a good seed planted in a good spot - BJ Fogg

2. Got too greedy for a productive life: I wanted to change everything at once. I think it is evident in the first paragraph of my writing that I wanted to develop a lot of habits. When there are so many new things on the plate, it is quite easy to get overwhelmed. If I missed out on the streak for any one of them. Other habits suffered and took the fall. One small miss, messed with my brain and made me comfortable with missing another day and the day after that. Until I stopped following any of them.

What worked: A minimalist approach. I discarded everything and chose merely 1 habit (If you are curious, I started with reading). After a while we can add more and stack them up :)

Key is One small habit and an Easy one. As Leo Babauta says, “Make it so easy you can’t say no.”

3. Chasing for an immediate result: Almost all the habits are usually centered towards some outcome. How much weight do we want to lose/gain? How many books do we wish to complete? How quickly should inner thoughts calm down? In chasing this we usually tend to forget that this should not be outcome-driven. Rather our habits should be a part of our daily ritual.

What worked: Make them a part of your everyday life, slowly and gradually. It is a process that should run its course. We should concentrate our energy on making sure that we stick to our ritual instead of hunting for results. The inner willingness is what makes the ritual come alive and have power (quotes google, and I agree)

The key to forming good habits is to make them part of your 'rituals.'

Some other general practices I was subconsciously following which my dearest friend pointed out to me were:

• I started with one habit and took my time to let that one become a part of the routine. After that, I went ahead and gradually added a few more. I was regular at maintaining the streak because the goal was not too scary or over the top. (This point is repetitive but so should your habits be :P)

• I had a dedicated time and environment determined. I picked a spot for my workouts. This helped me in getting familiar with the environment and when you are in that space there is an inbuilt trigger to the activity associated with it.

• I picked a keystone habit (I learned this word today), small changes or habits that people introduce into their routines that unintentionally carry over into other aspects of their lives. For example, A fixed time of 7 AM - 8 AM was picked for a workout each day tightly coupled with meditation. To be able to do this each day I had to wake up early. Waking up early started with sleeping on time. I had an alarm set for my bedtime along with my wake-up time A bedtime prompt subconsciously prepares our mind for a wind-down. By doing so, without any additional efforts, I was able to build the habit of sleeping early and waking up early as an outcome of developing another habit.

• I stopped waiting for an ideal day or start of the month to start with a habit. After reading this, if you are pumped up and wish to get started with a habit you have been putting off for so long. I would quote Nike and say - JUST DO IT. Do not wait for the 1st of June 2021 as an auspicious day to start.

• There were days when I was unable to follow the routine one day (or more than that). This is very likely to happen because we are no superhumans or machines programmed to do everything right. It is okay to fail. The idea, in this case, is, if by any chance you miss one day then please, please make sure that you do not miss a second day. It is a chain reaction. Don't have more than one pitfall in your routine. The rhythm gets lost and 2 days turn into 4 and 5 until it completely slips your mind.

After trying, testing, and failing multiple times. At present, I have been able to develop

• Morning ritual - Workout + Meditation (13 days streak, I missed more than few days in between) and Reading (~56-57 days streak, I hardly miss this)

• Evening ritual - Journaling (49 days streak)

• Sunday ritual - Writing this blog ( 6 Sundays so far and we are going strong :))

Small changes over time brings a compounding result on its own.

I would like to close by saying,

Habit is a cable; we weave a thread each day, and at last we cannot break it. - Horace Mann

See you next Monday. Until then Mask up, Stay Safe, and Stay Healthy.

P.S.: If you are interested in knowing more about habits, feel free to read Atomic Habits by James Clear. Also, a special Thank you to a friend of mine for suggesting me this topic :)